Meditation

Where do you go when you meditate?

How do people sit for hours? Aren’t they bored, physically they are there but mentally you can tell they are somewhere else… where is that? How do you get there? Does it always take hours? What do you do when you get there? Where is ‘there’ exactly?

Meditation was something I only saw in the movies…I think of Monks sitting peacefully for hours, still and content. It always seems liked a lovely idea but that was it - it was an idea that I had no connection to. In my old corporate world meditation was something you did when doing yoga at your trendy studio in your Lululemon pants with your s’well water bottle…. such a contrast to the Monks that I saw in the movies.

To simply answer the question the best way I can, is to say that - meditation is a space that only you can go to and it belongs exclusively to you. It is 100% yours. No one can access it for you. It is all you. It is a place in time that is somewhere between your everyday thoughts, no thoughts and future thoughts. It is a balance between all of that allows you to arrive in the middle… to where you are a witness to your own self. You’re not actively participating in thoughts but rather allowing them to pass by. You can stay in this space for 5 minutes or 5 hours, there is no time limit, there are no restrictions.

Types of Meditation

In my experience, I have found there are 3 different types of mediation. Although I am sure arguments could be made that there is only one or several types of medication. Alternatively some would say that different styles of meditation is a more appropriate classification. Not sure. All I know is what I experience and how I interpret my learnings; therefore coming from the non expert, this is what I have found.

1. Guided Meditation

   a. You are guided to a location (beach, mountain etc.) and you do x things to release

   
   b. You focus on certain parts of the body and release tension (common mediation practice for sleep)

   c. Chakra cleanse, you are guided to clean and clear each Chakra

   
   d. Specific purpose, you are talked through a thought process to ‘Let Go’ or “Cultivate Abundance’ or ‘Heal’ etc.

2. Sounds, Chimes & Bells Meditation

   a. There is no talking and only sounds that bring different vibrations to the body and target different chakras

   b. Cleansing bell baths (where the bowl is placed on the body) that clear energy and Chakras

3. No prompts or chimes, strictly your environment

   Some people prefer to meditate with no prompts, they simple sit and surrender themselves to their surroundings and meditate.

What I know about meditation

I have done research, googled, talked to friends, family, listen to podcasts and it is very clear to me that there are different ways of mediating. The simplest way to put it, is that mediation is kind of like cooking, we can make the same dish but it tastes different because of the variations of spices, or the way it is cooked that makes each dish different. You can compare the ‘same dish’ between your favourite restaurants or think of how different countries use the same vegetables or meats but the dishes are entirely different because of the spices used and how it is cooked. Additionally it is our individual tastebuds that will inevitably make each dish unique to your plait. This is the same with meditation. Each expert has their own way and most (not all) will tell you - this is the only way. Personally, I do not buy that - it just doesn’t make sense to me because we all are SO different and what works for me may not work for you etc. The different types of meditation described on this page have all come different experts. I tried them all and briefly summarized them for you.

Remember, I am NOT a professional and I am simply sharing my experiences and prospectives. I am grateful to learn from the experts in this field which have allowed me to see the similarities and differences. My goal is to share my learnings and you decide what makes sense for you.

Getting Started

The number one rule as always, is to do what feels good to you.

Perhaps you listen to mediation and not actually participate at first and see what you like, what you don’t. Learn about different experts and their techniques see what resonates with you. Maybe you just sit in nature and listen. Just stick with exploring and do what works for you; in time you will naturally develop your own mediation style and like anything it will evolve as long as you give it time, attention and love.

7 Basic Meditation Principals

1. ENVIRONMENT

There is no set way or environment - it doesn’t have to be quiet. A quiet space may make it easier to start because it is one less distraction but a noisy environment may also help some people.

Mediation is space where you are aware of your thoughts and surroundings just the same. It is like you are a third person watching, listening, observing. It is ok that it is loud around you just notice it, notice how it makes you feel, notice how your body feels; where are you sore or feel good. Notice your thoughts - there are a couple metaphors that help - think of thoughts like the noise you here when watching traffic passing you by or like water maybe it’s a tide or calm waters… either way just let it flow.

2. BREATH

Breath in through the nose for a count of 4 and exhale through the mouth for a count of 4. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Sometimes all you do in meditation is focus on the breath and that’s good too. There is no wrong.

3. Feel it all

Allow yourself to feel the emotion. In order to become an observer of your state and environment you must acknowledge what you feel. When there is a lot of hurt it can block you from reaching the mediative state of the in-between/middle/observer because you can only see the pain and not go past it as a bystander. That’s ok. That is part of the process, you are still mediating and to continue to evolve all that means is that is where you need to be for now, cry through it, feel it - you cannot hide from how you feel in order to mediate. It helps sometimes to have a journal close by when you meditation for the times you need to just get it out. See below for tips on how to let go of unwanted emotion.

5. BREATH

Always come back to breath, especially when there is a lot of emotion or you feel over welcomed. Focus on your breath travelling from your head all the way to your toes. Breathing air into every part of your body. This helps you to stay in the present moment.

4. No judgement

Be kind to yourself and others. Similar to feeling it, you cannot judge yourself. If you are judging how you are feeling than you cannot be an observer of your feelings or state. You do not need to like every thought but you must allow yourself the freedom to feel and think whatever comes to mind.

5. Dark Thoughts

Ek - where did that come from? No worry, we all have ‘dark thoughts’. It’s part of the human experience. When I first started I feared what I would think about…where did these scared thoughts come from? What did they mean? Why did I think these thighs? How did I come up with this dark thought? The questions never stopped and when I tried to fight it or change my thinking my scary thoughts would double down and I felt like there was no escape and that I was doomed. As soon as I accepted that dark thoughts are ‘normal’, that they are feared based, thinking them doesn’t mean it is happening, it is not reality - only then could I let go from them. A friend of mine said once that scary thoughts is kind of like standing on the edge of a cliff after climbing a mountain, you realize there is nothing physically keeping you safe and if you slipped or jumped you could fall and hurt yourself or die. But you never would, you just notice that it is possible and then go back to enjoying the view. Scary thoughts are kind of the same thing… of course they are there, there are in the world, in media, in programming etc. we are faced with them all the time and of course it is in your subconscience from traumas we have left untreated. In order to deal with them is to allow them and feel them. Then be able to say I acknowledge that thought(s) but I do not choose it, I choose love. I surrender these unwanted thoughts and I allow them to pass by like watching traffic instead of going down the rabbit hole. You do it as many times as you need to. There is no set number, the process can be difficult at times and different for everyone.

6. Forgiveness.

Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Forgive the world. Send love to you, others and the Universe. This is a big one, it’s about love or fear. See spiritual principles for more information.

7. Timing

Even 5 minutes makes a difference. With practice it gets awesome. Everyone is born with the ability to tap into themselves, it is always there for you. When you become comfortable getting to that space an entire new world of peace, hope, possibilities come to you and it is life changing.

Common Misconceptions

1. You cannot control mediation

   If someone is telling you to control your thoughts or put something aside (on a shelf or park that thought/emotion) that is not sustainable mediation. That may be a helpful for certain types of jobs, a problem, or identifying other emotional issues but on a whole that practice is NOT a healthy way way of dealing with emotions. That technique is temporary relief, it is not a solution. When done consistently it can lead to suppression. Negative emotions must be released to be resolved. They are energy and energy does not stop, putting it aside is to barry it deep within.

   Quick story: In my formative years I competed Nationally in Synchronized Swimming and we had ALL sorts of coaches a swing coach, nutritionist, ballet coach, sport psychologist and massage therapist. The sport psychologist would tell me if something scared me or made me nervous - ‘don’t think about it. Just put it on a shelf and leave it behind. If you think of a big brown bear than, what will you see a big brown bear.’ This technique taught me how to suppress fear and I used for just about everything later on in life and it could not have been more WRONG! What should have happened was to explore the fear and dispel it. Using the Synchronized swimming example - I had a fear of losing my nose plug while upside down in a competition… the teams massage therapist who also happened to study mediation and Reiki (a form of energy healing, more on that later) who learned of my fear had me lay down on my back, close my eyes and practice what I would do if my fear of losing my nose plugs while upside down in competition happened. The first time we role played I actually freaked out! Like jumped up from the table and yelled NO! Before we tried it again she had me sit up with eyes open and said take your spare nose plugs from your hip (all synchro swimmers kept extra nose plugs under their suit by their hip incase this happened) and put them on your nose. This time when we role played again I was laying down with my eyes closed and she said ‘you’re nose plugs are kicked off by a teammate what are you going to do?’, I calmly reached for my nose plugs and put them on my nose. I couldn’t believe it; I didn’t panic. We practiced this a couple more times until I felt good about it. Years later in a competition that actually happened to me and without thinking I took the nose plugs from my suit while upside down and put them on my nose and I didn’t panic. My heart didn’t beat through my chest out of fear. It was not until years later when I learned about my suppressed emotion that came from losing a friend and traumatic experiences that I thought of this experience and how working through fear is always better than hiding from fear. Personally, I find it upsetting when an expert talks about mediation and putting an emotion aside. It can be a helpful tool but it needs to be understood that emotion does live and goes somewhere and that technique is band aid, it is not a solution.

2. There is only one way to mediate. By now if you have read the above I hope that it is clear to you that there are many ways to mediate. The destination is the same in that you are an observer to your environment, body and mind but the HOW and the EXPERIENCE remains individual with the ability to create to customize to what works best for you.

3. Mediation is not exclusive and does not require you to be fit physically or mentally - sure those things can help but it can also be a hindrance. If you’re competitive person that mentality will not work when meditating. It is not a race. Mediation is for everyone no matter your race, religion, station in life, sexual preference/identity or health status. Mediation does not discriminate.

A few of my Favourite Mediations

Here are a couple guided mediations that I love, that I found on youtube. There are SO many to choose from. Remember go with your gut.

These two are simple and promote self love and healing. There are perfect for every day or a great way to get started. In time I will create my own mediation and post it - it will be a collection of techniques that resonate with me and I hope will resonate with some of you. In the meantime, I included other meditations that I found on YouTube that have helped me and I hope help you too.